On the Ministry of Exorcism, Revisited

  My interest in the ministry of exorcism as been renewed lately. It would be easy to say that the advent of the new show Constantine is the catalyst, but that would be much too simplistic. Those of you who know me know that my interest in this field far predates my knowledge of the Hellblazer stories.
  All of my life, there have been things lurking in the corner of my eye, only to disappear when I try to look directly at them. I have always seen shapes, mostly at night, but sometimes in the daytime, of people standing on the side of the road, or "up ahead" after some fashion, only to have them be random, completely NOT people shaped objects. I have night terrors occasionally, sometimes waking up screaming and sweating, but often never waking at all; a phenomenon described as an anomaly by my psychologist as I do not fit the profile.  I get random "stabbing" pains in my body. Sometimes in two places simultaneously, sometimes three, and once, five in a pattern on my torso. Never just in one spot. These are usually, but not always accompanied by the feeling of some presence that should not be there. I have asked multiple doctors about this pain, and the general consensus has been that they don't know, but that I might consider getting a stress test. Sometimes, as I am falling asleep, I get a hypnic jerk. This is not so uncommon, but mine is always accompanied by a bright flash of light. No doctor has offered up an explanation. An then there is the occasional random voice. Often just a word or two, but very clear, and very clearly without a discernable source. Sometimes my same, sometimes someone else in the house's name, sometimes just a word. Now I am not attesting that any of these things are necessarily praeternatural in origin, but taken altogether, they do give me pause.
  But more compelling to my interest is the fact that I have been involved in two exorcisms myself, one in 1987 and another on 2012 (see blog entry Dec 2012), and I keep feeling called back to this. Not out of some morbid fascination for the occult, or even an interest in the paranormal , but as a genuine healing  ministry. I believe in demons... no, I KNOW that demons exist, just as I know that angels exist. And I believe that I have been called to participate in a ministry that is largely misunderstood and underappreciated.
  Therein lies my dilemma... As a Catholic layman, if I am to remain faithful to the Holy Roman Catholic Church, I know my involvement in this sort of thing should be extremely limited, but these things seem to find me. Not often... thank God, but they do nonetheless. And the more I think and pray on it, the more aware I become of the reality of it.  So the questions that I find myself arguing with myself about (in  not particular order) are thus:
  1. Why, in this round of renewed interest, am I suddenly finding myself seeing and feeling things more often than I have in the past. It's not often; certainly not around every corner. And most things that "catch my attention" turn out to be nothing at all, but some others leave me wondering. Does interest and study stimulate the imagination to produce more phenomenon? Or does interest, study, and understanding open oneself to being able to experience said phenomenon?
  2. As a lay Catholic, what can I do to cultivate my interest in this field? I have concerns about bringing this up with any of the priests in my parish. There was one Jesuit priest at the Ignatius House that I had talked to about some of my angelic experiences, if he is still there (and alive; he was pretty old the last time I saw him). Will I ultimately find myself stepping out of the boundaries of the Roman Catholic Church to pursue this if it turns out that am am truly being called to this?
  3. The Catholic Church says that only ordained ministry (priests) may perform major exorcisms (Catechism 1673), yet the Bible states that any baptized faithful may do this (although the Bible does not explicitly define the difference between minor and major exorcisms). Now, I understand and appreciate why the CC has the position that she does; it is largely for the safety and well being of all involved, and there are things that need to happen in the course of an exorcism that only a priest may do (hearing confession and granting absolution, certain blessings, giving communion, etc...), but there is part of me that also knows that the faithful CAN (doesn't mean that they SHOULD) perform solemn exorcisms. (Even as I am writing this, I am answering some of my own questions, but I will leave this in place for the time being.)
Thats all I really have to say on the subject at the moment. Any positive input would be appreciated.
God Bless,
AMD+G