Lost my way

I feel as though I have lost my way. Not so much strayed from the path, as missed a turn somewhere.
I thought I felt him the other day while driving, but then the doubt drove the feeling away. Did I miss my calling. my opportunity again? I so wish that I could recover that First Dream. To make sense of what had happened may have helped me see where I was supposed to go. Now I feel as though all of that has slipped away.

Would I be worthy to done the Armor of God and pick up my flaming sword to defend The Gate?