Visions

When I was about 12, I went to an intensive (a very compact retreat) at the Ashram where my father and step-mother attended. During one of the meditations, I had a vision of the Blue Pearl. This was considered among the highest achievements of Siddha Yoga meditative practice. Consequently, I was told that I could not have had that vision at such a young age, and that I must have imagined it. Needless to say, I was crushed, but I never said anything about it again. Since then, I have experienced "Kundalini"rushes... incidents where my field of vision will fill with brilliantly glowing gold sparks. I have never told anyone bout this either, but I have experienced them to this day.
At my retreat in November, during two different meditations, I had very clear visions. Not like the imaginings of the minds eye when ones eyes are closed, but more of a being present in the same space as that which you are seeing.

Please forgive my sorrowful attempts to translate what I saw onto paper, and perhaps someday I will sit down and recreate the images, but in the meantime:

In this vision, I was standing at the bottom of a rocky and leaf strewn (like in late autumn) hill, looking up at a cave. The perspective in this image is terrible. The bottom row of stones would have been the leading edge of the ledge, and the other stones, set back and being the edges of the mouth of the cave. The interior of the cave was impenetrable black, and blocking the entrance was a cross of white wood.

In another vision, during a different meditation, I saw a candle in the darkness, radiating a circle of light (as a candle might do in a fog), but the gradients between the levels of emanation were almost tangible:

Then, the candle changed into the head of an iron spear, and the colour of the light changed from whitish blue, to red:

I do not have interpretations for these visions. I only have that they were, and that they were strong enough with me to inspire me to sketch them up.

Day 3, Lect. 9 - Compassion and Solidarity

Compassion and solidarity

We are all called to contemplatives in action (ones who see then act with thoughtfulness and deliberation) in this world. We are co-creators of the Kingdom, with God, and with each other. We need community, compassion, and solidarity if we are to help this world.

What if we could give without counting the costs? What if we could see our neighbor suffering, and enter into their life with true love and compassion to help them. And sometimes it is not about "fixing" their problems, sometimes it is just about "being there" for them.

It is hard. If you live in a big city like I do, you tend to get overwhelmed by the shear number of homeless and destitute. And some not so much physically destitute as spiritually destitute. I live on the edge of a DMZ. I am in a quite little pocket of a neighborhood, but I am surrounded by... well, by ghetto. Everyday, I drive through "Cracktown", see the girls working the corner (or at least dressed as though they were), and the guys with their britches falling off, buying Swisher Sweets and magnums of Colt 45 malt liquor at 830 in the morning. Everyday, I see these people pulling out of their Section 8 supported apartments in their Cadillac Escalades, and their BMW's. I find it very difficult to not shut it all out. To try to see God at work in this environment. To think to myself, "What can I do to help these people? Do they even really need or want my help?"

We are called to give all of our love to God, Christ, Ourselves, and Our Neighbors. But Lord, it is hard. Sometimes I have to block it all out, lest I become overwhelmed with it. There are times that I would take on all of the pain of a complete stranger, so that they may experience the Love of God. But I know that is not always, or even often possible, so I feel I have to lock it down.

But I am just one man... Do you notice the overwhelming flood of compassion and support that comes to a community after a natural disaster or a tragedy? It is immense! But where is it in the quiet days in between? For the homeless, for the sick, for the mentally ill? No one man can fix it all, but as a community, can we come together in love and compassion, in solidarity, to fix what is broken in our communities, in our cities, in our country, in our world?

One must open oneself up to see the suffering, before one can be available to heal the suffering.

In the eyes of God, no one life is worth more than any other life.

Day 3, Lect 8 - Passion

Readings: Jn 19:25-27     Mk 15:22-41    Lk 23:44-49     Phil 2:5-11


The conversion experience is a continuing process. It is continual and ever renewing. Each morning when I wake, I have to decide to pick up my cross and carry it, or I can decide to lay it down and walk away. Now, by this, I do not mean to imply that bearing my cross is always a bad thing. It is simply making the conscious decision to try to walk with God that day, to lay down and turn away from my sins, to bear my burdens, and to be continually thankful to God for all of the good things that I have, and thank Him for the lessons to be learned from the bad.

When Jesus was crucified, it was because he was a political and religious dissident. He was showing the people a new way to live, think, and love, and that threatened to turn the Hebrew and well as the Roman establishment on its ear. So they arrested him on more or less trumped up charges, beat him, humiliated him, tortured him, denigrated him, and ultimately executed him. And all the while he maintained his connection to God. All of these things that man could do to him would not, and could not break his connection to God; break his spirit. All of this he suffered without anger. Without thoughts of revenge. To the very end, even as his spirit left him, he showed compassion.

All of this suffering is us. We are the arrested, the tortured, the beaten, the denigrated, and humiliated, the sick, the damaged and broken, and even sometimes the executed. Every one of us experiences some of this in our lifetime. And He experienced it all for us all at once. Why?

So that He could be the very embodiment of compassion. He came here to experience being Human. What does it mean to be these things that I made? What do they do, how do they live, how do they love, laugh, suffer, cry, and even die? How I can I love them if I don't know them, and how can they love me if they don't know me? So He came to us, in the form of a human male, Yeshua bin Yoseph of Nazareth. He walked with us for 33 some odd years. Lived as we live, loved as we love, laughed, cried, suffered, and died, as we laugh, cry, suffer, and die. As we do. And as he did, the sought to show US the nature of God. A God of love, compassion, honesty, and integrity. A God that now understood what it meant to be human, and so that Humans could understand what it meant to be as God.

In the end , he suffered and died on the cross. But even as he did, he suffered and died in solidarity with and with compassion for all of mankind's suffering. And what happened? He overcame it. He rose. He became God again. This is our fate. This is our mission, our journey, our destination, our destiny. If only we will learn the lessons that He taught us, and walk in His footsteps, carry His/Our crosses, whatever they may be.

+BLESSINGS+

Day 3, Lect. 7 - Announcing the Kingdom

Day 3, Lect. 7 - Announcing the Kingdom
Readings: Mark 10:35-45  Luke 4:14-21  Matthew 25:31-46  Matthew 4:12-17

What is The Kingdom if not Heaven? It is the world of Christ. It is living in Christ. Living IN Christ IS living in the Kingdom.

As a retired military man, +Ignatius spoke of serving under the banner of Christ versus serving under the banner of the World.

Jesus brought us the Kingdom: Peace, love, justice, compassion, all of those things he showed us that we may know God, and may be as God, and be IN and OF the Kingdom of God.

The Messianic Age- When the Messiah comes, so will come peace. But WE have to be that peace! He cannot FORCE it upon us!

The word Shalom means peace in a very holistic way. Peace of mind, body, and soul. Much the same was that Agape means love, but means more than love.

The Kingdom is with in and around you:

"The Kingdom of God is inside you and all around you,
Not in a mansion of wood and stone.
Split a piece of wood and God is there,
Lift a stone and you will find God."

Jesus gave of the gift of the Kingdom. In 2000 years, we have not managed it very well.
It is time we took it back. One person at a time. One interaction at a time. One act of Love at a time.

As Babptized Christians, we are called to:
     1. Follow Christ- that is "live in/as Christ"
     2. Establish His Kingdom and continue it.

The Kingdom is all around us, and in us, but it begins in our hearts. It begins with Love.

The "Here/Not Yet" paradox: This is something that has never really occurred to me, and is worthy, I think, of some serious consideration. "Here/Not Yet." The Kingdom of God is Here! ...Don't get it? Not Yet. ... Christ gave us the Keys to the Kingdom, right here, right now, in our hearts, in our minds, in our spirits, in our relationships, in our communications, in our interactions with others, in our whole lives. He brought the keys to be given to everyone. But it is up to US to use the keys. To Open the Kingdom, to maintain the Kingdom. The Key is in CHRIST. In the CHRIST consciousness. In the "imitation of CHRIST." If we could all be more CHRIST-like, the world would be a much better place, so we ARE the Kingdom... or at least we should be.


Q: What does it mean to you that The Kingdom is here and now? What does this call you to?
I think these questions are fairly well summed up in the paragraph above. 

For a friend in need...

Master the love that is inside of you! The love of you, the love of your children, the love of God. May this love embrace you; give you courage & strength; heal your head, heart, body and soul; and restore to you your heart's desires.
+RAPHAEL+ Who's name means "GOD has healed", is the Angel of Happy Meetings and of Healing. May He keep you under his wing until our paths cross again. Keep him with you, and remember.

Day 3 Lect. 6- Jesus: Beloved Brother and Sacrament of God

Here we turn to Jesus. Jesus as the God/Son of God, and Jesus as a Man who could be our friend, our confidant, our mentor, our guide, our brother.

If a  sacrament is a sign of God, the Jesus is the sacrament of God. Jesus said "If you have seen me, then you have seen the Father." He tells us that He is the embodiment of God here on Earth, so that we may KNOW who God is.n reading the parables, the miracle stories, the healing stories, we may also know the nature of God. Read them and see who God is. Let yourself feel His love for you. Let yourself fall in love with Him.

We are all called to live in (to imitate is a common way of phrasing it) Christ, but what does that MEAN? Second century christian philosopher/saint St. Irenaeus said "The glory of God is the human being fully alive."

Most Christians profess that Jesus was both fully human (being born of Mary) and fully divine (being begotten of the Holy Spirit). What this means for us is that as God, he came to us to live like us, to experience joy and suffering like us, and to die like us. To be fully human... like us. But in doing so, he came to show us LOVE like Him! To show us that we may live with integrity, honesty, compassion, justice, and with LOVE! In doing so, may we find that it is to be fully alive in God.
This is what it means for us to live like Him. For us to imitate him. For us to be Christ's emissaries in this world. Jesus broke all social, religious, economic conventions to show us God. And that in being Human, we could be as God.

"I wish I could show you the astonishing light of your own being."
When we realize that God is in us, and in everyone else, and everything else, we start to be able to see God in everyone and everything. If we all treated each other as though the other were God, then the world would be a much better place.

On Love
"Nothing has the transformative power, can move even mountains, more than LOVE."
In Luke 7:36-, we are told that Jesus is confronted with a woman who is accused of being a sinner. But she comes to Jesus, even though Jesus is seated for dinner with the Pharisees, she comes with love. With a love so great, despite her sins that she prostrates herself before Jesus and washes His feet with her tears, and drys them with her hair. She recognizes the Grace of Jesus and moves towards Him. He recognizes her repentance, her metanioa, and forgives her, releases her of her sins.

Love is hard. It's hard to do all of the time. We are not God, even as we strive to emulate Him. We are fully human, but we have the spark of the divine within us, and we are called to kindle that spark and "set the world on fire" with it.

Q: How do you relate to Jesus? How does reflecting on His humanity challenge you/comfort you?
I know that this may sound silly, but the comic strip Coffee with Jesus has been very helpful in my relationship with Jesus. Up until a couple of nights ago, I has always had a real issue with trying to reconcile the whole Jesus/God/Son of God thing. The the other night, I was laying in bed praying, and I imagined Jesus sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. It was such a powerful feeling that I actually moved my legs out of the way to give him somewhere to sit. We talked. I confessed to some problems that I was having, he gave me advice. It was really quite remarkable. I wish I had written it all down at the time, but sleep came easier that night. Being able to relate to Jesus in a more human form than ***SON OF GOD*** opens the door to a whole new relationship.

Day 3

I gave the woman whom I lent my cane to my last RAPHAEL medal. She asked me to pray for her children. She told me that she was a recovering addict (6 months now).
Like with the man at the Monastery, I was compelled to give her the medal. I told her that she could return it to me when next we meet.
God, I ask that you guide her and protect her and her children. Please assign Angels to their care. +AMEN+

Session with a Spiritual Director

with Fr. Edward, S.J.

Talked about my family history, my relationship with my mom and with Dave. We talked about mine and mom's mental and emotional issues, and the hardships that we went through.
We talked extensively about my temper, and the things I might do to manage it including; working with the kids. Finding ways that they can help me. Working with Celeste. Making her the referee. If she calls a HOLD then it's a HOLD. Talked a little bit about prayer. To my children I am to be Father, Priest, and King.

We spoke of +RAPHAEL+ and my experiences with Him. That was difficult for me, and Edward chided me a bit for my concern over confiding to a priest. He recommended me to read Ezk 1-2.

We talked a bit about vocation and my call towards priesthood. Obviously the Jesuits are out of the question. He advised me to follow the idea that man was created to Praise, Reverence, and Serve the Lord. That is first. The consider what work will help me on towards that.

All in all it was a very helpful meeting, and I am thankful to God for it.

+PAX+

Day 2 Lect. 5 - Cleaning the Bigger Lens: Structures and "isms"

Structures and "isms"

In this session we discussed government, organizational, and social sin. Even as Jesus was suffering at the hands of his persecutors, so was Peter "keeping warm by the fire" of his denial. How often do WE "kept warm" while we we know that others were suffering?

We may not be able to fix everything, "there will be poor always" sang Ted Neely in Jesus Christ Superstar, but we need to be aware of what is happening around us.

How do we respond to the call of the cold, the hungry, the thirsty and the oppressed? How do we serve as the hands and feet of Christ in the world?

What can we do? What can *I* do?

It is not easy to think of these things. It is hard to get our minds out of our comfort zone. But we really do need to look at it, but it can be hard to see>

What are we afraid of? WHO are we afraid of?
Who do we have a difficult time seeing?
How do I become more compassionate towards those less fortunate than I?

Think about the was in which we generalize people. By groups, race, gender, religion, social strata.

We have to start by really looking at these things under a microscope and being honest with ourselves about them. This is probably the hardest part of these seminars so far for me. I like to think of myself as not being prejudiced, as being compassionate towards all, but I know that I am not. I have more prejudices than I care to admit.
It is only then that we can truly clean the bigger lens, see more clearly, more broadly, more deeply, so that we may love more completely.

Notes from the Scriptures:
Isiah 58- The misguided fasting of the self-righteous and God's instruction on the proper fast.
Sounds like big government and politics.

John 8:1-11- Jesus, the Stoning of an Adulteress, and the Pharisees
Let us not judge, for we are imperfect ourselves. People who live in glass houses...

Micah 6:1-8 What does God want of us?
Not our sacrifices, not our works He wants us to Love and be Loved and walk humbly with Him.

James 2:1-5 Favouring the Rich Man over the Poor Man
Do we not do this every day? Do we not gravitate towards those people who we think are more like us, or can do more for us? Sometimes (often) we see only what material benefit a person has to offer without ever being aware of the spiritual gifts that one might have to offer.

Luke 7:36-50 A Sinner Forgiven (Tears and Hair)
Even with greater sin, so is there greater forgiveness. The self-righteous do not see their own sins.

Day 2 Lect. 4 - Cleaning the Lens: That I May See

Cleaning the Lens, that I may see...

Scripture readings:
John 8- The Adulterous Woman 
John 9- Jesus, the Blind man, and the Pharasees
Romans 5- We have been justified by Faith
Psalm 32- Blessed are the Forgiven

Cleaning the Lens is about being able to view our faults, and our sins, through the lens of God's Love, rather than through the lens of Man's guilt.

One of the biggest "turn-offs" for people on Christianity is the whole Sin and Guilt thing. Who can blame them? Nobody wants to admit on their own that they are flawed, and they damn sure don't want somebody else telling them that they are flawed.

But if we can get past our Egos long enough, we can really examine our lives and our thoughts and really admit that we have issues (some greater than others, some lesser, it really doesn't matter). Once we can do that, coupled with the knowledge that God loves us, wholly, unconditionally, no matter what, and that He wants us to change (metanoia) so that we may be closer to Him, it suddenly becomes clearer and easier that there is a real opportunity to have a real relationship with God. One that is based on Love and not guilt and fear.
Remember... God does not condemn us for our sins... we do.

We are going to use the word "sin" here, as it is part of the vernacular, but it must be understood that "sin" is not doing things that the Bible says that we should not do (although that can be part of it), but sin is doing those things which are counter survival, and/or counter to bringing us closer to God. Sin is not "breaking the LAW OF GOD, therefore YOU are GOING to HAAEEEELLLLL!!!... Umm, no... Sin is "hamartia"... missing the target. Error. It is correctable. I was really quite (pleasently) suprised to even read the Wikipedia not on the origin of the word:

"In Abrahamic contexts, sin is the act of violating God's will. Sin can also be viewed as anything within individuals that violates the ideal relationship between them and God.

"The word derives from “Old English syn(n), for original sunjō,... The stem may be related to that of Latin sons, sont-is guilty. In Old English there are examples of the original general sense, 'offense, wrong-doing, misdeed.' The Biblical terms that have been translated from Greek and Hebrew literally refer to missing a target, i.e. error."

Once we can honestly confront our sins, we can begin the process of "metanoia" or change of heart and mind. "There is nothing 'once and for all' in a decision to change." The process takes time, and patience, and discipline, and the willingness to stay open to God and let Him help you.

Ignatius talks about Attachment and Indifference. Iggy's idea on indifference is de-tachment from those things that keep us from God.
What are WE attached to that keeps us from God?

The Sin of Separation
We talked about sin as "what separates us from one another?" How do we relate to our fellow man, especially when there is cause for stress in the relationship. These stresses can be: Attitudes, judgements, preconceptions, lack of compassion. Lack of Affinity. (See my entry on Affinity, Reality, and Communication, ARC)

We were asked to examine areas or people in out lives that we had trouble with in this department. For me it is p-eople that I have communication barriers with, either through their having a learning disability, a language barrier, or their being say... a dog. I have a problem with homeless people. I feel bad for them, but I find that I have to wall up my compassion for them lest I give them the clothes off my back. (I have had too many unfortunate run in's with the homeless to NOT put up a wall between myself and them. Something I suppose I should work on.)

We are meant to be CHRIST in the world. We are meant to be a LIGHT. We cannot keep ourselves covered up with a basket.

The Sin of Self Neglect
There must be a balance between serving others and taking care of OUR needs.

What things in my life am I attached to that are actually harmful to me?
What loops play over and over in my mind that keep me down? Harpies?
What or WHO is my sabatuer?

How am I honouring the Gift of Me?

*God will forgive us if we forgive us. Can we forgive ourselves and turn away from those things that we know are not of God?*

From John 9-
We get so hung up on our own preconceived notions, or rigid thoughts, that we fail to see the miracle standing right in front of us.

From Romans 5-
We have been justified by faith.
Rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that
     Suffering  leads to endurance
     Endurance builds character
     Character developes hope
     Hope will not shame us as God's Love has been poured into us.
We are reconciled to God by God's love for us, even as we were sinners before Jesus' death.
As one sin lead to condemnation and spiritual death, so does one act of righteousness lead to salvation and eternal spiritual life.

From Psalm 32-
Blessed are the forgiven says David. Confess your sins to God, be forgiven, and sin no more. Rejoice in the Lord and know that you are forgiven!

But confession and forgiveness must be followed by change. We must remain vigilant and disciplined to not fall back into the sleep of this world.

On the Role of Saints

Looking back, I do not remember the source of this revelation... if I was reading a book at the time, or listening to a lecture, or simply praying:

On Saints...
Praying to, or invoking a Saint, is asking that Saint to guide you, lend you his or her strength or wisdom, or more importantly, asking them to pray to God *with* you, when you feel you do not have the strength to do it alone.

Day Two Lect. 3 : Principle and Foundation

We believe that God creates all things and that we may find in them God's presence and energy by learning to share our lives with other people and care for our kinship with all all that wonderfully shares and supports our lives.

How has creation been the "hiding place and revelation of God" for you?
What have you "learned" about God from looking at creation?
Reflection: As Christians we believe we come from a loving God who freely creates us to discover the mystery of God's love in our lives.

Sacramentality: The view that God is in all things in the world.

God is found in all things, great and small.

All of the Earth, including ourselves, are given to us so that we may find God.

Lectio Divina (Divine Reading)- practice of scriptural reading, meditation and prayer intended to promote communion with God and to increase the knowledge of God's Word. It does not treat Scripture as texts to be studied, but as the Living Word.
Traditionally Lectio Divina has 4 separate steps: read, meditate, pray and contemplate. First a passage of Scripture is read, then its meaning is reflected upon. This is followed by prayer and contemplation on the Word of God.
     1. What does it say?
     2. What does it say to YOU?
     3. How do you respond to it?
     4. Be still, contemplative.

Spirit and matter are one. Is not matter made of energy? Is not Spirit made of energy? Is not God... Energy? God is in, of, and IS everything!
God is revealed in everything!
By holding a duelistic viewpoint:
     Secular vs. Sacred
     Profane vs. Holy
     Matter vs. Spirit
is to limit God.

I only started to really recognize God in and as nature when I started hiking with Celeste. I understood it even more when I had the "Big Bang Cognition." The Big Bang as the beginning of God's Creation: "Let there BE..."

Q?: How is it that what I am learning here seems so radically removed from what I always though I knew about Catholicism?

Notes from recommended scriptural readings:

Hos 11:1-4
Despite our faults, despite our stubbornness, God will still love us. He will not give up on us.

Rom 1:19-20
God shows Himself to us plainly in the everyday world. We must CHOOSE to see it!

Day 2 Lect. 2 "Who are You, oh God, and Who am I?"

Notes from Lecture 2 - Who are You, Oh God, and Who am I?

The questions for this lecture were:
What images of advance or detract from your relationship with God?
What would you like to say to God about that?
Who best personifies God's love for you? (God with Skin reference.)
What prevents you from receiving God's love?

I will attempt to answer these, and similar questions from other lectures through what will probably come out as a chaotic smattering of quotes, notes, references, insights (from then and now), and seemingly nonsensical whimsies. Some of these things I will elaborate of in future entries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God loves us wholly, unconditionally, no matter what.

If only we could see each other, shining like the sun with the love of God.

My "God with Skin" is Celeste. Her strength, her love, her never-ending devotion to those she loves. It is said that God loves you at least as much as the person who loves you most. Well, if God loves me at least as much as I love Celeste, then I am a pretty lucky guy.

God is more for us than we are for ourselves.

God is Universal, God is God, God Is.
  Sometimes trying to think of God gives me vertigo. Like trying to comprehend the infinite vastness of space. But then sometimes God is a pinprick of light, but a point that contains all of the energy that ever was and ever will be. I cannot thing of God in human terms except through CHRIST.

As for Jesus... He is my coach, my coffee mate, my friend and my guide.

Maybe if God really was able to be personified, it would be easier to understand His will and His doings and His purposes.(There was a lot of talk as God as Santa- Always seeing who is good, and who is bad, and meting out justice accordingly. Or God as Father; loving disciplinarian. There was no talk of God as Daddy (Abba) which I am in retrospect grateful for, because that particular viewpoint grinds my nerves for some reason. Although after doing a bit of research, it turns out that Abba is not really equal to Daddy (as it is commonly used in seeker churches). It does (or can) carry a more respectful weight to it if that makes any sense.)

Sometimes the idea of Zen does seem easier because it holds no sense of urgency. No compelling drive that says we have a limited amount of time at our disposal. Use it wisely.

On Celeste being my God with Skin... Sometimes so much so that if I had to choose between Her and God, I don't know if I would know how to respond.

The chaos, the busyness, the constant hum of activity in my life is a constant barrier between me and my relationship with God. THAT is why I am HERE! :-) (I remember writing this. I was in my Hidey-hole and it came upon me like a revelation. There was an immense sense of Presence, Calm, Joy, in that statement.)

I Arise Today- The Deer's Cry

The Deer's Cry
I arise today through the strength of heaven
Light of sun, radiance of moon
Splendor of fire, speed of lightning
Swiftness of wind, depth of the sea
Stability of earth, firmness of rock

I arise today through God's strength to pilot me
God's eye to look before me
God's wisdom to guide me
God's way to lie before me
God's shield to protect me

From all who shall wish me ill
Afar and a-near
Alone and in a multitude
Against every cruel, merciless power
That may oppose my body and soul

Christ with me, Christ before me
Christ behind me, Christ in me
Christ beneath me, Christ above me
Christ on my right, Christ on my left
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down
Christ when I arise, Christ to shield me

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me

I arise today 
 

-- Recorded on " Lisa" by Lisa Kelly, Celtic Woman Records

Adapted from The Prayer of St. Patrick, circa 400 A.D.

http://www.michaelppowers.com/prosperity/deer.mp3

Day 2- Rough Night and Remorse

9 hours of sleep... my bed is horribly uncomfortable (toooo soft), and my shower was broken (They fixed it very quickly). Other than that, so far I am enjoying myself.

Experiencing some reservations about oversharing my experiences with people.
At the social last night, I met a woman named Diane. We got to talking, and by the end of the conversation, I had told her about my conversion experience. I always feel very uncomfortable with that. As if I am telling something that is supposed to be kept secret. I think I need to explore this a little more deeply.

Wherever you find Him

Every day, a boy went wandering in the woods near his home. After a while, his father grew concerned about whether it was safe for him to be out there so much. One day, the father asked; "What are you doing out in those woods, son?" And his son replied, "That's where I go to look for God." The father thought for a moment and said "Why in those woods, son? God is the same wherever you find him." But the boy looked at his father and said, "I know dad... but I'm not."

An Unspeakable Secret

"Here is an unspeakable secret: Paradise is all around us, and we do not understand." -Thomas Merton

Day 1 Lecture 1 - Is God Lost?

Day One- Lecture 1
Introduction-: Is God Lost?

I came here this weekend with no expectations. As I told my wife, if I get 72 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I will have gotten something good out of it. Anything else will be bonus.

Modern life keeps us always going at a breakneck pace. Physical noise, spiritual noise, psychic noise, noise, noise, noise, noise noise... What needs quieting? I do. I can't seem to figure out how to turn off the internal TC and radio long enough to even consider that God might want to tell me something, much less what it might be.

I am here seeking God, and therefore myself.

"An Unspeakable Secret..."

"Boy in the woods..."

The Prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me. 

Retreat Day 1 - 01 November 2012

Ignatius Hose Jesuit Retreat Center
November 1-4, 2012

Arrived around 1545 and got settled in. They were very gracious about moving me to a downstairs room when they say me walking with my cane.

Rested, for a bit, then wandered the grounds, the bookstore, and the library, then retired to my quarters to meditate.

Attended 1730 All Saints Day Mass. Very nice. I had very little trouble following along, even without a guidebook. Not so unlike Anglican Mass. I felt no stress to "keep up". I just flowed with it as the spirit moved me.

This is an absolutely beautiful place. Celeste- I cannot wait for you to see it.

The main Chapel sits on the edge of the bluff over the Chattahoochee River. The whole back wall is glass so that you are looking out into the canopy of the trees. The sun setting in the tree tops was beautiful.

Off to the Social.

Very noisy. Met a woman from South Carolina named Diane. Very nice woman. Cancer survivor. Excellent conversation. Told her a little about my history. This was her second trip here to the Ignatius House.
Great food!

After the Social we met at the Chapel for the official start of the retreat with an Orientation Lecture.

Ignatius House Retreat Center Photos

View from my hidey-hole where I did most of my journaling.

Down the Walk of the Stations toward the river.

Down the Walk of the Stations toward the river.

Fountain of the Living Waters.

Stations of the Cross.

Fountain of the Living Waters.

Entry to the Chapel

Annie from Florida

View from inside the Chapel

Holy Font and St. Ignatius Relics.

The main hall.

Seclusion.

Path down to the waterfall.

Private residence of the Center Director.

WAAAYYYYY down there is the Hootch. (Chattahoochee River)

Stairway to...

Up the path

The facilities

The outdoor chapel and tower.

Fireplace in the atrium.

The atrium

From inside the library

The Library

The Library

The Dining Hall

The Dining Hall

Back up from the River

Deck overlooking the River

Waaaaayyyyy down there...

A lovely place to sit.

Stations of the Cross

Stations of the Cross

View from the back yard.

Everthing, everywhere...

We are all made of stars, we are all made of God. We are all made of everything, from everywhere that ever was. From the Big Bang, to the edge of time; from the starting point to the finish line. What is made of you, is made of me; and we're all made of God, and that makes us free.

Another, in response...

To my mind, the Bible is a compilation of works, written by men, but inspired by God. The OT, particularly the Torah, is a mythological account of the origins of the Jewish peoples. It is their creation story, the origin of their people, their understanding of the world that they live in and the God that they serve. The rest of the OT is a history of their people. And like all histories, it is written from a cultural perspective. It is important to differentiate between the OT being a history of the Jewish people, and a history of the world.

The NT of course being a collection of stories (the Gospels), letters, and tractates, written by several and diverse authors over a period of time (about 200 years), relating to the life of Yeshuah (Jesus)*, and the establishing and running of churches in his name throughout the region. Again, these stories and letters are written from a cultural perspective.

If you are arguing for the infallibility of the Bible from a historical viewpoint, then that is not an argument that you can win with me. (You only need examine the four Gospels to disprove historical infallibility) What is FAR more important is what the Bible, the teachings of Jesus in particular, can teach us about living, here on earth, and at a spiritual/eternal level.

It doesn't matter if the Bible is historically accurate. It doesn't matter if it was breathed out by God himself though the human authors, and on to the paper. What matters is the spiritual truths that are contained inside. Some of them plain, and some of them obscure. All of them relevant, and all of them eternal.

*Ye(ho)shua would have been the Hebrew-Aramaic name given by Mary and Joseph to the child who is now known by the Anglo-Latin name of Jesus. We come by the English name Jesus by way of the Latin "Ihsus", by way of the Greek "Ἰησοῦς" (Iēsous).

GOoDness...

"Realize how good you really are."

If GOD is GOoD, and we are created in GODs image, then we must be GOoD.

Someday's we don't feel so good. Someday's I'll bet we even wonder if God is as good as everyone makes him out to be. Those are the days when it is hardest, but most important to trust that God is GOoD, and that YOU are GOoD.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta said, (and I paraphrase): "If I am hungry, give me someone to feed. If I am sad, give someone to comfort. If I am naked, give me someone to clothe..."

It is in our times of tribulation, especially spiritual tribulation, that we are faced with a choice. The choice of succumbing to our troubles, or of mustering the strength to find the GOoDness within us. Finding GOD's GOoDness within us. Finding GOD's Image within us.

Take a moment today, to realize the GOoD within you.

Two New Doctors of the Church

"Today, October 7, is the day Hildegard of Bingen is declared a Doctor of the Catholic Church. She is only the fourth woman to receive this honor (all four are mystics; the other three are Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena and Thérèse of Lisieux).

"Joining Hildegard in being declared a Doctor today is John of Avila, a contemporary of Teresa and also a mystic. Hildegard and John bring the total number of Doctors of the Church to 35, joining such theological and mystical luminaries as Augustine of Hippo, Thomas Aquinas, Bernard of Clairvaux, Francis de Sales, Ephrem the Syrian, and John of the Cross." ~from anamchara.com

 

 

Storms...

Sometimes the thunderstorms just build up in my head. They roll and boil, then go flat and silently grey. When the calm comes, I start to come back out of myself, but then a sudden gust of wind and a crash of lightning later, and I am nothing but a sick and broken man in a sea of casualties.
Just one night, I would like to get through an evening without something knocking me off my keel. Just one night, I would like to get through an evening without bitching my kids out for something. Sometimes something they have done. Sometimes because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Rarely deserving of the malevolence that issues forth from my festering pie hole. Sometimes I wonder if I need to be back on some sort of medication. I hate my temper. I hate that the littlest, stupidest thing can set it off. I hate that once it is loose, I cannot seem to reign it back in until it has run it's course. (Thank you DF for teaching me the power of rambling, vehement, 30 minute lectures) This is my thing that I would like to give up to God. I cannot do it alone. I cannot be in charge of it any more. I don't want it any more!
I am going to go take some tylenol now, and go to bed.

On Yeshua being married:

Recently the hoopla in the news has been of the fragment of parchment from a codex that has been dubbed "The Gospel of Jesus' Wife." No conclusions as to it's authenticity, meaning, or even it's implications have been drawn. The Church denies the possibility of Yeshua (Jesus) having been married, or even having been a sexual being in any context. Some connection to "original sin" and the sex act being sinful by its very nature. (I will address "original sin" in another post)
My question is; "So what if he was." How does that change anything? If anything, it seems to me that Yeshua's being married makes far more sense than his not. As a Jew at the time, it would have been expected of him to have taken a wife by the age of thirty. Did he not say that he was the 'fulfillment of the Law," and that "not one iota of the Law would be changed"? Secondly, if he came down here as a human, to partake of the whole human experience, would it not stand to reason that marriage (which is one of the Sacraments) would be part of that experience?
Yeshua's being married makes him that much more human, and therefore makes his sacrifice on our behalf that much more meaningful and powerful. This idea that Jesus was as pure as the driven snow puts him above/against the humanity which he came to be a part of, so that humanity could come and be a part of Him.

Spiritual Cosmonaut

The Holy Scriptures are like the sky or the ocean. You look out and you see the truth of them. They are vast, and eternal, and on the surface they are plain in their meaning. If you are a sailor or a pilot of this world, they tell you all you need to know, in their movements and motions. But then there are cosmonauts. Those who would delve headlong into the depths, beyond the waves, and beyond the clouds.

Conservatives, Liberals, Contemplatives, oh my...

Conservatives: Bible teaches moral absolutes. Liberals: Bible proclaims social justice. Contemplatives: Bible calls us to transfiguration. ~Carl McColman

An old man's dream...

I dreamt an old man lay on his death bed. He knew his time was near, and he was afraid. He wished to repent of the evil things he had done in his life. He prayed to God for Forgiveness. He prayed to God for Mercy. He prayed to God and he feared. And God replied;  "It cannot be by Fear that you come to Me. Not fear of death, nor fear of Hell. You can only come to me through Love. Love of Me, love of Life, love of All. When you know Love, you will know Me." And the old man slept.

"Don't let the idea of reincarnation be an excuse to get lazy and not strive to get it right this time. You don't know what the future holds in store. You don't know what world you may return to." +Arin

Consider that you are already wise:

Your wisdom is not complete or flawless, but it does exist in the depths of you. It exists because God has designed the universe in such a way that, if we pay any attention at all, we will learn. As we solve problems, survive grief, create something new, or help others heal, wisdom develops and grows in our hearts and minds.

http://deepeningfriendship.loyolapress.com/2012/09/21/consider-that-you-are-already-wise/

New Gospel Fragment Found... Was Jesus Married?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/18/the-gospel-of-jesus-wife-_n_1891325.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Rediscovering Christianity

A short talk from Rev. Theodore Nottingham about returning to true Christianity. To Christianity as  Wisdom teachings. To Christianity as an Intuitive process. Before the fragmentation and division that has created so much ignorance and intolerance. A return to Christianity as a Mystical Tradition.

I do not support "Special Rights"

I do not support Gay Rights. I do not support Woman's Rights. I do not support Minority Rights. I support Human Rights. I believe that every person, (who is not a convicted criminal, a Prisoner of War, or has otherwise legitimately had their rights limited or revoked) should have equal access to all of the rights granted to the populace by the constitution of the land in which they reside.

Given up on God

A lot of people have given up on God. They have given up on God because they expect God to be manifest in the exterior, physical world. What with all of the hate, and all of the hurt in the world, who can blame them for giving up? But the outer world is not God's immediate concern. God's immediate concern is the inner world. "The Kingdom of God is within you," is not just some cliche corporate line. We are God's creation. We are created in the likeness of God. That is to say, as spiritual beings, we are as/of God. Until we truly, and by "we" I mean ALL of us, and by "truly" I really mean TRULY, all of the way down to the core of our being... figure that out, the world will remain full of hate and hurt. You see, it is really up to us. Not God. Some of you may have given up on God, but God has not given up on you. And neither have I.

A Prayer of Holy Communion

Oh Lord, thank you for this gift of Holy Communion.
By Your Grace, our bodies and souls become one.
You came into this world, became human, lived as a human, died as a human, and were resurrected again as God, so that we humans, your beloved creations, may come into You, live in You, die in You, and become resurrected in You.
In Your Holy Name, by our Lord Christ Jesus.

+AMEN+

+Message+

+I feel your petty hatreds grinding against my soul like hot sand. They claw at my face and they tear at my heart.
You say you love everyone, but your words are tainted with hatred toward the one thing that loves you beyond all measure.+